An excess of fat.

If you read news stories online or in papers, you will see pretty much every week there will be a story about obesity - probably a warning of 'YOU WILL DIE TOMORROW' or something similiar due to being overweight... (usually this is the Daily Mail - I blame that paper on my Nan's high blood pressure and her over-active imagination). Anyway, I read these stories with the mandatory picture of nameless tubby's tummy/hips, which are bulging with evidence of Big Macs and chocolate Hobnobs.

But really, on a serious note, if you take a look in the street, if your driving a car and you look at the people walking on the paths, I am going to say that pretty much 2/3 people are overweight. I am being relatively harsh with my Fat-ometer, but hey, don't hate me, just don't eat so much.

I get it fat people. I totally get it. When I think about pick and mix, I pretty much salivate like a dog and run to the nearest pick and mix outlet. I also get the big portions thing. I think I was cursed as a child to be able to eat huge plates of dinner, and my 'I'm full' messages get lost somewhere between my stomach and brain (probably swept down in a waterfall style by more incoming food). If I didn't have people around me to give me those dirty looks of "Are you still going?", I would probably eat my plate of food, and everyone elses left overs.

However, I don't let myself get to 50st, post pictures of myself on the internet eating food, and charge people $20 to look at my fatty website. Sorry? What the....

Courtesy of the Daily Mail (don't judge me) -

I chose to keep this picture 'Extra-large' because I'm a joker.

In her quest to become the world's fattest woman, Donna Simpson is already profiting from her challenge - by earning $90,000 (£55,000) a year from fans who pay to watch her eat online.

The American mother-of-two, who already holds the dubious honour of being the world's fattest woman to give birth, makes money from people hungry to watch her eat more than 15,000 calories a day.

Where do we find these people! If this wasn't enough, Donna (Kebab) is trying to reach her target of 72st to become World's Fattest Woman.

I can think of titles I would rather hold. Like running a 100m world record. Or having the longest milk squirt with my eye. Something worthwhile.

Last Christmas, she devoured two 25lb turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 15lbs of potatoes (10lbs roast, 5lbs mashed), five loaves of bread, five pounds of herb stuffing, four pints of gravy, four pints of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 20lbs of vegetables.


Bloody hell. This year, I will consciously have one more Quality Street at Christmas, and comfort myself with 'At least I didn't eat 2 glazed hams.' To be fair, after reading all of that, I just thought to myself 'Why did you even bother with veg?'


To end on a serious note, and to prevent people becoming inspired by ole Donna, I think this woman is very selfish on her poor daughter who caters to her needs. She will probably see her Mum die a premature death due to her ridiculous way of life. I mean, this woman earns £55,000 a year from pictures of her eating! Who are these fat-fetish people encouraging this? You should all be ashamed!

Humans are such odd creatures.



That does not surprise me.

Finally, as much as I disapprove of his weight, I think his parents are comedy geniuses.